Almond Joy Chia Pudding

March 19, 2017

 

There are a few things that have happened since we turned the corner and started this journey of trying to adopt. Some good, some bad, but all in all a lot more good. The thing that I think has hit me the most is the process of grieving I didn’t really anticipate.

And I need to grieve.

While I am bursting with excitement to take home a sweet bundle all our own, there is also a part of me that has to let go. And it is all around my body. And if you have been around here long enough, you know that my body and I have had our fair share of ups and downs. And I wish I could say otherwise, but the feelings I have had more recently are more on the down side.

You see, in order for us to move forward, I have to let go and grieve the fact that my body will not be a home, a home for a baby–the one thing I dreamed of my entire life. I know, I know, I have heard it so many times–

Once you get on the adoption list, you will probably get pregnant;

Just wait, my friend started the adoption process and, BOOM, pregnant; 

It could still happen for you guys you know, you guys could still end up pregnant!

Please, please, PLEASE I beg of you, if anyone you know is in the process of adopting, PLEASE don’t say these things. Sure, it could happen, they or we could get pregnant, but putting these false hopes in our minds only delays our ability to process the grief that it is likely not to happen. 

And that is where my body comes in. I have been grieving the loss of the chance to birth a baby–physically. I am grieving the fact that I won’t get to feel the first kick, I won’t get to hear the first heartbeat, I won’t get to watch my belly swell and grow and snap pictures every week–all of the things that come with pregnancy, I have to let go. And this has caused some anger towards my body these past few weeks, and even a bit of anger towards others for getting all of these things. 

And I know, deep down, it’s a process. 

But at the end of this cycle, once I have fully let go, is a place of beauty, a place of joy and hope, because even though I will never get to experience all of those things I will still be able to experience my one true joy: our baby. Somewhere out there, there is a baby for us. And he or she will be the most loved child that ever lived. And I will get to experience that first smile, first laugh, first steps. I will get to smell that freshly washed baby skin. I will get to rock my angel to bed, night after night. I will be in absolute heaven, and I am closer to this than I have been in my whole life.

So while my body may not be on my good side in a sense lately, this process will only get me to the right side. And so I grieve. And I grieve so that I will be able to move on and move forward to the hope that is right at our fingertips.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chia pudding. Some love it, some hate it. I happen to like it. It’s a texture thing for some, but others love the texture. I found that popping the pudding into the blender before chilling makes it nice and smooth for those not interested in seeded pudding.

My very favorite candy ever growing up was Almond Joys. I was ahead of my time I guess or it may be because I knew my dad was going to take so many of our Reese Cups that I decided to find another favorite. And this chia pudding is the same flavor as my favorite candy! Chia seeds are one of those famed super foods you hear so much about these days and super it is! Packed with protein and fiber and so much more. 

This makes for a snack or a good breakfast–really any time you like!

 

Almond Joy Chia Pudding
Serves 4
Print
Prep Time
5 min
Total Time
4 hr
Prep Time
5 min
Total Time
4 hr
Ingredients
  1. 2 1/2 c unsweetened almond milk, or milk of choice
  2. 1/2 c chia seeds (if you like your pudding thick, add another tablespoon)
  3. 1/4 c plus 1 T cacao powder
  4. 1/2 c shredded coconut, unsweetened
  5. 1/4 c pure maple syrup
  6. 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  7. 1/4 tsp almond extract (optional)
  8. mini chocolate chips and almonds for garnish (optional)
Instructions
  1. In a medium mixing bowl, combine chia seeds and milk.
  2. Whisk very well to make sure that chia seeds do not clump.
  3. Stir in all other ingredients.
  4. Chill for about 4 hours before serving.
  5. You can serve by adding 1/2 a serving, a layer of coconut and the rest of a serving as shown in photos!
Notes
  1. If you want this to be smooth, add all ingredients into a blender and blend well until smooth.
Be Whole. Be You. http://www.bewholebeyou.com/
Almond Joy Chia Pudding. Be Whole. Be You.

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply Heather March 21, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    I can totally relate! I’m 34 and have been unable to get pregnant as well. God has helped me with accepting the betrayal of my own body while I watch my younger siblings and cousins produce baby after baby. We too are looking into adoption and hear the same comments you mentioned from friends and family who mean well, but I get so tired of hearing them. I want to say “No! It doesn’t work like that for everyone!” I wish people understood that those comments are not helpful, nor are the ones of people constantly asking “Aren’t you going to start a family?” “Don’t you want children?” Of course I want children, but I’m happy with my family of two at the moment, and that should be ok too.

    • Reply Lorie March 21, 2017 at 9:02 pm

      So perfectly said, Heather. It’s hard already and sometimes the things people say only make it all the more difficult. I understand that sometimes they really do mean well but after you hear it so many times, it takes a toll. I’ll keep you in my prayers!

  • Reply Erica March 24, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog this morning. I clicked the recipe and instead found a recap of my life, 5 years ago. I felt like I was reading something I had written. I too know the pain you speak of. We have a blog, bigplanetlittlefamiky.blogspot.com if you’d like to read our story. We adopted a perfect little girl after almost 10 years of marriage. She was born May 9, 2013 and our lives are forever changed and my heart has done a lot of healing… both because I became a mother and because I constantly worked at addressing the grief and doing my time grieving. I wish you all the blessings in the world on your path.

    • Reply Lorie March 24, 2017 at 8:35 pm

      Hi Erica! It’s so beautiful how the universe aligns everything so that we can connect with others in ways we never thought. What are the odds of you coming across my story from a recipe! Coincidence? I think not! I will definitely take a look at your story. It is through others that I gain more and more hope and support. So happy to hear of your adoption and can’t wait to share more of our story!

  • Reply Belinda March 28, 2017 at 8:41 am

    Hi Erica. I am so sorry for your sadness but after over 20 yrs in early child care I can tell you that producing to be blunt ,a child from a woman vagina doen’t her a mother. Some of the best mums most caring loving mums I have met were grandmas, step mums, aunts, single dads, foster mums and yes adoptive mums and some of the worst were biological mums. I know it is hard but try not to focus on the usual way of getting there, but that you are going to get there and achieve your dream. Ps your body is going to let you down many time during your life ie. Menapause, aging etc. so don’t be to hard on it and pregnancy is not neccessarily all it cracked up to be, some people have the worst time of their life ie my friend who had morning sickness so horrendous it lasted 9mth and was hospitalised to many times to count.

    • Reply Lorie March 30, 2017 at 11:18 pm

      Thanks so much, Belinda! So much truth!

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